A fellow therapist, not one I know well but one I know of, contacted me to ask for a chat and some guidance a few weeks ago. And, as you know me, I will always arrange time for a cuppa.
What shocked me the most was their question and their attitude towards me when we finally met. Bristly and unfriendly is an understatement as they quickly told me they wanted me to openly reveal why I ‘had to make people wait to see me’ at times, and they were struggling to attract anyone when in their words ‘you don’t do a lot of advertising’.
Instantly I took a deep breath and sat down on my hands, as my heart sank with a ‘wtf’ why me? As my eyes rolled towards the sky for inspiration.
No I don’t do a lot of advertising as the love of my work speaks for itself and my lovely clients have become my voice, but that takes time to build. At this point I thought it better to divert the conversation away from marketing and advertising and see how they were organising their working week and diary. What a jolt I got when they said they don’t open their therapy room unless they have more than one client booked in for the day, and have no problem cancelling or rearranging at short notice for only one. You can only imagine the picture on my face at this point! How many days have I travelled to my room in Ilkley, a minimum of 20 minutes drive on a good day, to see one person and at the last minute they have have to rearrange due to unforseen incidents and accidents. Life happens and that has to be number one consideration when working with people. Be flexible.
A suggestion then followed that they began workshops and courses as people are always wanting to learn. Oh boy I wish I hadn’t asked that question! Yes, apparently they have arranged reiki attunement days but cancelled them as they only had 5 booked in on the day and wouldn’t do it unless they had a minimum of 8. They looked disgruntled and uncomfortable when my mouth opened and out came a screech of ‘What, I’ve never heard such rubbish’ and yes I apologised and blushed at the same time rather quickly. There have been times groups and workshops I’ve arranged have had only a couple of people attend but do you know what, they turn out to be the best days and the ones who are meant to be there, are there. It isn’t about numbers or money earned, it’s about sharing with who needs it, when they need it. Reiki days with me are only ever one to one as I found that works best for those who ask me to do their initiation.
So where did this blog start. EGO, where does it come from? Where does their’s stem from. I believe it is an inflated self belief and over confidence for sure. Yes to be a therapist of any kind we have to have confidence in our ability, but in many instances, and especially with energy work such as reiki, we have to remember it isn’t us. We are only the conduit for the energy to flow through.
Somehow I didn’t feel this would be a 2 cup of coffee meeting as every time I had a suggestion it was talked over or dismissed. But if I can help I will, and then had the idea of them starting a reiki share so voiced it before thinking it out fully. Their reply told me I wasn’t going to get anywhere with this as they told me ‘why would they organise something to help other therapists’. And, they think it’s ok to ask for my help!!!
One lesson I learned early on was that the client comes to you when the time is right for them, not when it’s right for me. Somehow I don’t think they are ready to understand that one yet.
Finally I was asked if I had any of my clients I would share and recommend them to. The conversation came to a full stop when I quietly reminded them people attract people and my clients may not be comfortable with them, as we are different people.
Time for me to make my exit, I obviously wasn’t the one to help them and my cup was empty.